06-24-09
missing you
my first experience with missing someone was my freshman year of college. several of my close friends went to a school 3 hours away, and i felt pretty much alone. my parents had just divorced and i didn’t feel like i could leave them (co-dependent much?), so i stayed in town since there was a perfectly good university right down the street from my house.
i started school in the middle of august and i went to visit my friends over labor day weekend. the reunion was loud and girly and…well, loud, but there was this underlying aching feeling that i had never experienced – that feeling when you know you only have a short time and will be leaving soon, so you have to make the most out of every conversation, every moment.
that feeling has been a part of me ever since.
when i lived in new york and would come to tennessee for the weekend, every second of every day was planned to the max. i tried to make sure i saw everyone and spent some good quality time with them because time wasn’t a luxury. there was this sense of urgency the whole time i was here.
the great thing about being back in tennessee is that i’m not always leaving tomorrow or the next day. it’s something that is hard to get used to, though, not feeling anxious about time running out because i have to get on a plane. my time here is something i don’t yet take for granted because i missed it for so long. i love driving to nashville for work, eating dinner with my family, trying out new churches, seeing the same people two days (or more!) in a row and for more than a two hour stretch. it’s a different dynamic, one we’re all adjusting to, but it is good. and i don’t think it could have been this good if i had moved back two years ago, or even one year ago.
you can’t be in two places at once, but you can love in two places at once. the beauty in leaving gracefully – not running – is that you get to return without fear. and tomorrow i will get on a plane that will take me back to a city i love and people i love and a church i love and i will have that sense of urgency/aching feeling that i have to make the most out of my time in new york.
i can’t wait.
“you can’t be in two places at once, but you can love in two places at once. the beauty in leaving gracefully – not running – is that you get to return without fear.” l-o-v-e it.
06-25-09 » 5:58 am »
shhhh. :’-|
you gotta stop doing this to me. I don’t like facial precipitation.
06-25-09 » 7:00 pm »
i can’t wait to spend time with you!
06-26-09 » 5:22 am »