08-28-08
correspondence tuesday [seventeen]
yes, i know i skipped last week, and yes, i know this is 2 days late…it’s been an interesting 2 weeks to say the least. i’ve been asking and answering questions that i wasn’t prepared to ask or answer. it’s been a time where i’ve had to literally sit down and write what i know to be true, and go from there. pete says it well here…it’s part of life…and i would rather ask questions than not have any. with that said, here’s correspondence tuesday for this week.
when i met you i thought you were so cool and i was determined to be your friend. i was going through a ‘phase’ that has apparently lasted the past 8 years, because after a lifetime of trying to be ‘normal’ (whatever that means) i was finally embracing the parts of me that were different. and now, i guess, the different is just as much a part of me as the normal. my different is now normal, and you helped shape that. i was intrigued by weird hair, edgy clothes, music no one had ever heard of, art…a world that was not my own. i wanted to make that world my own, though, and in my 20 year old brain that meant hanging out with your family. and you let me. you welcomed me into the folds of your lives like i belonged there, and i can’t imagine a time when i didn’t. [interjection: i realize while i'm writing this that you are prob. the only ones in the world that will even begin to truly understand what i mean, and that's the beauty of it].
i’ve seen you through 2 additions to your family, deaths, a college graduation (finally!), friendships both old/new and lost/restored, something like 5 pets (probably more), 3 moves, 1 house purchase, hairstyle changes, job changes, marriage changes, life changes….the list goes on and on.
you’ve watched me grow up and become independent, you’ve seen me become…well, me. you’ve stood beside me, walked behind me, listened, talked, called me out, encouraged. you’ve shown up for the important parts of my life from college graduation to my re-entrance into America from my Chinese adventure. You’ve cried when I left and rejoiced upon my return. You’ve participated in my ventures and believed in me.
this weekend is part of those changes that i’ve been anticipating. you are currently packing up the last of your worldly possessions that you didn’t sell and soon they will be loaded into a u-haul and you’ll leave tennessee behind. my hope is that you will leave a lot behind, actually, because not all of the past ten years is necessary to pack – i say we leave that baggage, okay? and you’re headed toward something, instead of running away from anything. it’s something different and soon the different will become your new normal. and the people in texas won’t know your stories and your pasts and where you came from to get to this point, and that’s partly a good thing because your past doesn’t have to be your platform and you can choose what you share. but secretly, i’m glad i know everything – and i mean everything, because you have all trusted me with the depths of you – because within your family is a story of redemption, of being lost and being found, of something beautiful growing from ashes. and i see it and i’m so proud to say i was – i am – part of it. part of you.
tomorrow i will fly down south, jump in a u-haul with you, and ride 12 hours to texas with no CD player and a radio that may or may not work. it might just be the most uninterrupted time i’ve spent with you and i don’t take that lightly. the beautiful thing about it is that several people are responsible for funding this adventure – i haven’t had to pay a dime. 4 of the people closest to me knew how important it was that i make this transition with you, and have paid for my flight, my transportation to and from the airport, and my food. and i guess that’s God’s way of affirming that i’m a member of the family, and where you go i will go too. and that transition, though rough, doesn’t mean the end of anything, just a beginning.
love
elizabeth
08-20-08
He’s still my healer.
Remember when I wrote this?
Well, I just found out that apparently, the story behind the Healer song isn’t true.
For a moment I was thrown for a loop – but then I remembered that I do know Truth:
God is still my healer.
God is STILL all that I need.
He STILL holds all of my moments.
And STILL, nothing is impossible for Him.
Just because the story isn’t true doesn’t mean the lyrics aren’t.
There’s a good discussion going on over here.
08-13-08
correspondence wednesday (cont’d)…
bella and edward forever,
made for the beach,
08-12-08
correspondence tuesday [sixteen]
when you were born i thought that mom and dad had you just for me…mom was the surrogate but you were really my child. i supposedly wasn’t so keen on the idea that other people wanted to hold you – you were mine. and i’ve believed that ever since. he hurt you? i will kill him, you are mine. need help with homework? no problem, since you are mine. college scheduling got you confused? i’ll take care of it; after all, you’re mine. need some money? of course – you are mine. some would call me possessive. i call it fiercely protective.
we never had any “sibling rivalry.” i don’t even know what that means. i genuinely wanted more for you than i wanted for myself, though mom and dad tried (still try) their best to make everything even. if dad said no, you asked mom. if mom said no, you asked me. i usually said yes. i realize that this getting everything you wanted thing was probably not the best for your growth as an independent adult, but if i could just let you hold on to childhood a little longer, to not have responsibilities, to not understand what living in the real world meant, then i would have done my job. some would call me an enabler. i call it supportive.
the past year i have gotten to know you as a person instead of my little sister. when i describe you to other people, the only way i can try to explain is by saying, “we are so alike, but we are so different.” like me, you are a good conversationalist. like me, you are a true and loyal friend. like me, you love deeply. and like you, i have great style (you definitely had it first, mine was a long time coming!) but while we are the same in so many things, we approach life differently. you possess many character traits that i didn’t teach you. so many thoughts and opinions that i don’t agree with. and though i love most of your clothes, there are a few pieces i wouldn’t be caught dead wearing (and i know the feeling is mutual!)
you will be 25 years old in 4 days. i know that 25 is scary – and you’ve mentioned how unexcited you are about this age – but trust me, 25 is a good year. life just gets better the older i get, and i hope the same is true for you. i love to spend time with you more than anyone in the world – you just get me like no one else ever has. i’m so proud of who you’re becoming. and i’m excited to watch you as you grow (without my help) into a strong and beautiful woman.
happy birthday, little sister.
love,
elizabeth
08-10-08
i cannot live without books (thomas jefferson).
books on my “bedside table” (aka my windowsill) from left to right:
the way to love by anthony demillo
what the spirit is saying to the Churches by henry blackaby
52 ways to help you and your small group grow by dave early and rod dempsey
bird by bird by anne lammott
everything belongs by richard rohr
rockabye: from wild to child by rebecca woolf
the message remix by eugene peterson
reaching out by henri nouwen
believing God, breaking free, and david: 90 days with a heart like His by beth moore
books i just returned to the bookshelf after i cleaned off my windowsill yesterday:
twilight , eclipse, and breaking dawn (three-fourths of the twilight saga) by stephenie meyer
the reason for God by tim keller
blue like jazz by donald miller
books in my purse:
ESV thinline compact Bible
crazy love by francis chan
08-07-08
merry everyday.
Commentary: Our tragedy and God’s love for orphans by Steven Curtis Chapman
FRANKLIN, Tennessee (CNN) — According to UNICEF, there are 143 million children in the world who have lost one or both parents.
In America alone, there are half a million children in foster care, and approximately 120,000 of these children are waiting to be adopted. In many countries, children are too often orphaned or abandoned because of poverty, disabilities and disease; every 15 seconds, a child loses a parent because of AIDS. These are staggering facts that can seem overwhelming and discouraging, but I believe that God has a loving plan for each child, and that plan is you and me.
Caring for these children is not the job of governments or institutions; instead, it is the job of families, people and communities. As Christians, our compassion is simply a response to the love that God has already shown us. Mother Teresa would constantly remind those who worked with her that the Bible clearly teaches that whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Jesus. So in a very real sense, caring for orphans is a chance to meet the person of Jesus in “the guise of human suffering.” This is an invitation from the heart of God to know him and to experience his love.
the part that struck me is this:
“If only 7 percent of the 2 billion Christians in the world would care for a single orphan in distress, there would effectively be no more orphans. If everybody would be willing to simply do something to care for one of these precious treasures, I think we would be amazed by just how much we could change the world.
We can each do something, whether it is donating, adopting, fostering, mentoring, visiting orphans or supporting families that have taken in orphans. You can change the world for an orphan.”
let’s change the world for orphans.
08-06-08
if You would shine Your love down here…make our hearts as perfect as new…
one day maybe i will embrace change instead of resisting it. i don’t want the constants in my life to be about location or circumstance, and instead be about maintaining relationships across the country or even across an ocean all the while enjoying the here and now. it’s the balance that i have difficulty with.
since i moved to new york, i find myself saying “it’s SUCH a small world” all the time. i meet someone on a plane with whom i attended college, and she becomes a good friend. my roommate and i are on the beach and end up in conversation with a couple who go to UT Knoxville, and last semester the girl lived next door to one of my favorite people. while i’m visiting tennessee, a friend and i are flipping through some of my photos and she recognizes a girl she went to middle school with. the girl she recognized? the wife of our worship leader. i get a positive comment on a recent blog post, and i realize that not only is he the pastor of my best friend’s church, but the blog i wrote was based on a sermon he preached in the first place.
…if You would shine Your love down here…i promise i’d reflect it right back at You
- Copeland, When Finally Set Free
08-05-08
no correspondence tuesday this week…
…because i’ve been reading this:
i’ve been so caught up in my fictional friends that i haven’t taken the time to write about my real life friends. corr. tues will resume next week!
but tomorrow, a blog about transitions and changes and how selfish i am…i know you’re looking forward to it!