09-09-06
from my phusebox…
My best friend is getting married today.
04-08-06
from my phusebox…
“i love that i am now truly an open book- there’s nothing to hide when you are forgiven.”
This is something my friend elizabeth (the other one) wrote on her myspace and i love it. God has been teaching me this recently. My past is not a part of me in the sense that it is me. I am redeemed. I am a new person! God rescued me (of all the attributes of God, I like this one the most. Today, at least) from…well, me. I can talk about my past. I can talk about the horrible things I’ve done, the unwise decisions I’ve made and I’m no longer ashamed. Because I’m free. (I feel like saying, “So THAT’S what they mean by freedom in Christ! I get it now!)
Anyway, the hail yesterday was awesome at my house. I’ve got pictures that I’ll post in a minute! And last night – fabulous. I love theatre, good food, and good conversation, and last night was all three. Plus hanging out with john and olivia…always fun. and the lightening was unbelievable on our drive back to m’boro- we kept saying, “Do it again!”
And that’s all for now.
04-06-06
from my phusebox…
“…the reason it is so easy to obtain salvation is because it cost God so
much. The Cross is the point where God and sinful man merge with a
crash and the way to life is opened – but the crash is on the heart of
God.” (Oswald Chambers)
God has been doing a lot of renewing in my heart – I can’t really explain it, but it’s like a breath a fresh air.
02-07-06
from my phusebox…
“We look for visions from heaven, for earthquakes and thunders of God’s
power (the fact that we are dejected proves that we do), and we never
dream that all the time God is in the commonplace things and people
around us.”
- Oswald Chambers
11-05-05
Frustrations…
from my phusebox…
If God tells you to be an apple, be an apple. Don’t act like an orange and try to convince yourself and everyone around you that you’re still an apple. We’re not fooled and neither is God.
And God is your authority. Submit to that.
I could write a whole book on the insecurities of females and how they allow themselves to get sucked back into unhealthy relationships time and time again…WHY?
My life is this giant cycle. And this time, God will prevail.
The end.
05-15-05
from my xanga, created by and for my 8th graders
Kentucky was fun…glad to be home. Only like 2 weeks left of school! Then…summer! And less responsibility! Yay!
When I hear songs like this I always wonder if the writer was really talking about a person or actually referring to God. Because when I think about it, this is how I feel about Him…
I don’t post lyrics often because it’s annoying to read them and usually just skip them, but I like this song.
I was stained, with a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right I just didn’t know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen, twilight
Never cared never wanted
Never sought to see what flaunted
So on purpose so in my face Couldn’t see beyond my own place
And it was so easy not to behold what I could hold
But you taught me I could change Whatever came within these shallow days
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen
As the sun shines through it pushes away and pushes ahead
It fills the warmth of blue and leaves a chill instead and
I didn’t know that I could be so blind to all that is so real
But as illusion dies I see there is so much to be revealed
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen, twilight
I was stained, by a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right
I just didn’t know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen, twilight…
-Vanessa Carlton “Twilight”
05-11-05
from my xanga, created by and for my 8th graders
the best way to describe me is just tired. Tired physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I am weighed down and over-burdened. I need a break that is longer than just a day. I need to spend more time with God and rest in His love. I need to be on my face with an open heart waiting to hear from my Creator.
And yet, here I am, playing on the internet and putting my CDs on iTunes. And again putting off a stolen moment with God, the perfect time to just seek Him and know Him more.
At this point, I need to get off the internet.
But on another note…I know I haven’t been the most fun or the easiest person to be around the past few weeks…and I’m sorry. Just know that I am human…and I lose my focus all too easily.
Relax. Accept responsibility.
05-09-05
from my xanga, created by and for my 8th graders
Yay for new cars and New York city and good friends and Terra Nova being almost over.
Yay for warm weather and “You” by Evanescence and white sunglasses that everyone looks good in.
Yay for summer plans and talking on the phone for hours and sticking to a budget for once in my life.
Yay for iPods and the kind of sunscreen that sprays and walking 1.3 miles most every day.
Yay for God and people who believe and even those who don’t who will one of these days.
Did I say yay for new cars?
04-21-05
from my xanga, created by and for my 8th graders
Yay for new cars and New York city and good friends and Terra Nova being almost over.
Yay for warm weather and “You” by Evanescence and white sunglasses that everyone looks good in.
Yay for summer plans and talking on the phone for hours and sticking to a budget for once in my life.
Yay for iPods and the kind of sunscreen that sprays and walking 1.3 miles most every day.
Yay for God and people who believe and even those who don’t who will one of these days.
Did I say yay for new cars?
04-17-05
from my xanga, created by and for my 8th graders
Yeah, I know, I never update this thing. This weekend was WAYYYY
better than last…probably due to the sudden attitude
adjustment. Sometimes I try to carry all of these burdens
alone…and in the words of Bono, “sometimes you can’t make it on your
own.” The past 2 weeks have proven this true.
I have discovered that I don’t have problems. I don’t have
addictions, really, nor do I have real issues.. But so many
people around me do, and it has taken me a little time to figure out
what role I play in their lives.
I, being the person that I am, want to fix things. I want to take
these people and run their lives and make their decisions. God
has shown me that my role is not to fix things…because I will fail
time and time again. I can listen to them, perhaps make a few
suggestions when the time is right…but the only thing I can really do
is help bear their burdens. By doing this I have 2 choices…to
attempt to bear them alone, or give them to God.
When people say to give your burdens to God I never understood
how. “Um, okay, God, here they are.” What does that
MEAN? I am learning that it means being in constant communion
with God, and allowing Him to teach you something (even small
somethings) through everything. To me, giving it up and
letting it go used to mean forgetting about it. But Oswald
Chambers says that it means asking God to HELP you carry this
burden…”but put it over onto him and yourself with it, and the burden
is lightened by the sense of companionship.”
Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes I think, “WHY can’t this just
be easy?” In the words of a very wise person who shall remain nameless, “…the thing to remember is that while we do have a
choice, it really doesn’t matter if that’s what you want or not. your
choice is God. your choice is to follow Jesus down the path of
righteousness…where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom, so why don’t we live in a constant state of freedom? i’m not sure. i’m not sure
there’s an answer, aside from humanity. what i am sure of is that
everyone, even the noblest of saints, has bad days, hard times, deep threaded
pain, the burden of lament. so there’s nothing wrong with you and there’s
nothing wrong with me just because we find ourselves there.”
God rocks. Sometimes the thought of how incredible He is brings
me to tears…hopefully, those of you reading this already know
that. If not…well, what are you waiting for? (Or if you want to
speak correctly, for what are you waiting?)